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Sunday, July 20, 2008

Euthanasia

Yesterday, I had to euthanize Alaska (our cat). I would probably describe myself as fairly antipathetic to her existence over the last few years; having young kids made Alaska a nuisance in the end. And I've never been a cat person. Jeff got Alaska when he was in another relationship, in another life. I inherited her.

Alaska was a furniture scratcher and an occasional people scratcher, too. I would usually describe her as "ornery". Even when she was younger, when we first met, she was not very friendly to strangers. Strangely enough, though I don't particularly like cats, she was immediately friendly to me. I think I may have secretly liked her for this.

I'm ambivalent now that the deed is done. Even though I have been expressing a wish for her to die for the past few years (I'm not proud of the fact that I probably expressed these feelings to be cool -- you know, a non-cat-person who has had a cat forced upon her) I had no idea that I would have to be the author of her execution. But there she was. In then end, despite her destroying several sofas with her claws, she was a "good cat". She stopped eating and forced me to bring her to the vet where, at her advanced age, the best thing for her was to be "let go".

I actually cried even though I knew (or thought I knew) this is what I wanted for some time.

Goodbye, Alaska. I hope you are in a better place now with hundreds of beautiful sofas to use as scratching posts. The kids miss you.

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